Mary’s Thoughts

“Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

I gasp, amazed when Gabriel appeared, telling me God had chosen me to give birth to the Messiah. I want to do God’s will, but this was perplexing, disturbing. Was this angel really God’s messenger? How could I explain it to my family? What would my beloved Joseph say? “Do not fear,” the angel said, but it was hard not to tremble at such news.

And then the long trip to Bethlehem on a donkey, and giving birth in a stable, surrounded by scruffy shepherds and smelly animals. Shivering, Joseph piled straw around the Babe for warmth, and covered me with his meager cloak. Was this place befitting for the Son of God?

The flight into Egypt to escape Herod’s threat was harrowing; we were foreigners in a strange land. People looked at us with suspicion. Joseph again had to find shelter, provisions and work.

When we brought Jesus to the temple as was the custom after 40 days, and Simeon, the high priest praised my baby as his God, I trembled.  My baby, he said, was destined for the rise and fall of Jerusalem. What did that mean?

I loved watching Jesus take his first steps, speak his first words, learn Joseph’s carpentry craft, but when at age twelve, he stayed behind in the temple, terror filled my heart until we found him.

He grew up too quickly and my fears increased as Jewish leaders slung criticism and rejection across his path. It was wrenching to see him carry the heavy cross, crucified like a despised criminal. I felt so helpless, so desperate, standing on Golgotha, remembering Simeon’s prophesy…

Jesus gave me much sorrow, but also much joy and I never regretted saying yes to Gabriel, God’s messenger.