Loving Ourselves, Others

“We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others.”  -Thomas Merton

I have a friend who is always ready to help others. She sees a need and automatically responds. I admire her ability to be so aware and so concerned about others.Those of us who are more wrapped up in our own needs have to work harder to be aware of the needs of others. Yet sometimes people who give themselves so completely to others, fail to take care of their own needs. 

We know people who think the world revolves around them. Sometimes we want to tell them, "It's not all about you." Others prefer to stay in the background due to humility or shyness. They may need to extend themselves more. 

Merton says that it's all about loving ourselves properly while also loving others. Sometimes we find it hard to love ourselves when we look at our weaknesses, our imperfections, our failures. But these are a part of being human and unless we can love these aspects in ourselves, we will not be able to love others properly. They go hand in hand. 

Human contact is necessary to grow emotionally as well as spiritually. That is why hermits are rare in this world. Most of us need others to challenge us and smooth the rough edges of our personalities. Good friends can help us to grow and become our better selves and eventually our true selves. 

Loving ourselves properly enables us to reach out to others in love. We all know people who can make others feel like a million dollars. Just their presence brightens the day. We also know those who can make you feel like you don't matter or that your opinion is worthless. 

It's a good idea to check up on ourselves frequently. How have I shown love for others today and how have I loved myself in a way that makes me more unselfish and willing to grow?