Building Others Up


 
You must no longer live as the Gentiles do…
put away the old self of your former way of life, …
and put on the new self, created in God's way in righteousness and holiness of truth. (Eph. 4:17, 20-24)

Recently our prioress, Sister Esther Fangman, spoke about critical junctures in our lives – times when we have to decide whether we are going to live our old way of selfishness and uncaring, or adopt a new self of kindness and compassion.  She emphasized the power each of us has to build others up or tear them down with our words and attitudes. We may not be conscious of this power in our day to day encounters, especially when we have our minds on other things. It takes awareness and effort.

For example, we have a lot of guests and employees in our monastery. Sometimes they come with heavy burdens and sorrows that weigh them down. Sometimes they are tired or in a hurry. We can lift them up or ignore them.

We also have sisters in our care center; many are elderly and some are sick. Often they are lonely and may not be in the best of moods. It takes some effort to visit them and share a story or some bit of news with them.  

What if our best efforts meet with rejection or indifference? “No matter how many times another is rude, is not there on time to serve us, or forgets that we need something, we must never contaminate that juncture by reacting with voice,  expression, or actions that lessen another’s being,” Sister Esther reminded us. “It could well be a critical juncture that nudges them toward a lack of self-worth or despair.”

Many of us think we are powerless , that we lack the skills to make a difference in others' lives. We fail to realize the effect of a smile, a kind word, or a simple greeting. We need to remind ourselves often that we have the power to make another's day brighter or darker. We are that powerful.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  Limping to God I come to you, God, weather-beaten and limping, asking for forgiveness for all the times I have failed to be faithful and attentive to all those around me, especially the elderly who have run the race, the poor, the lonely and abandoned, who need my care and concern.     Is there any hope for these old bones? What will it take to change my limp into a surge of energy and a ready step? Teach me to become more caring, more responsive, more aware. Give me eyes to see and the will to act on my good intentions.   Water my dried up spirit and shriveled body, expand my shrunken heart. Give me eyes to see what you are leading me to do even as my bones creak and my legs become unsteady. Make me remember that I am here to serve, to listen, to be ready to be your hands and feet today.   Barbara Mayer, OSB    
Read more
Image
    “Wonderfully Made” When I took a college English course, our first assignment was to write an essay about whether we would rather lose our sight or lose our legs. It was a thought-provoking choice. If we became blind, we would miss seeing our loved ones and all the beauty of our world. If we could not walk, we would be hindered from traveling and moving around without help. I chose to keep my eyesight since I love to read and write and enjoy the variety and beauty that surrounds us.   Of course, I’m glad I didn’t have to make that choice in real life, but it was a thought-provoking assignment. It made me think about how much we take our bodies for granted. I began to think about all the organs, veins, arteries, canals, nerves, and bones we have in our bodies and how they all work together to keep us alive and healthy. It is not until we lose one of them that we realize how magnificent we are, created in the “image and likeness of God.” God loves each and every one of us as if
Read more
Image
  Overcoming Discouragement Sometimes discouragement and failure take over our lives, and we cannot seem to crawl out of our hole. Even if in reality they are not a true picture, we can be blinded by the seeming darkness.  It often takes another person to uncover what is hidden from us and to see through the cloudy picture.  I am reminded of a story about Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. He tells of how he felt his dream of starting a group for people with drinking problems was not going anywhere. Then unexpectedly Father Dowling, a disheveled priest, came to his door in the middle of a snowstorm. Bill’s caretaker told him that a “damn bum” was at the door. Bill was tired but agreed to see him and in doing so had his “second conversion experience.” Bil and Father Dowling talked way into the night, and Bill told of his “high hopes and plans, and spoke about his anger, despair and mounting frustrations.”  It turned out that the elderly priest had had similar feel
Read more