A Listening Heart

Listening is an undervalued skill. To really listen to someone means more than just hearing what he or she says.  It means spending time to try to understand the situation. As Robert Wicks says in his book, After 50: Spiritually Embracing your own Wisdom Years, "true listening will provide reflection, feedback, and questions to see if we both see the issues clearly."

man-with-hand-up-to-ear-to-listenSt. Benedict tells us in his Rule, "Listen with the ear of your heart." If we really care about the person who is sharing, our heart will be touched. Good listeners are not just passive hearers, but really try to break open a story. People often have limited under-standing of their own stories. Many times they are filled with shame or regret or discouragment, and have blocked vision.  A caring listener can provide a different perspective and open up new possibilities.

In this age of instant messages and immediate communication, it is not easy to find a person who takes time to listen. It's challenging to develop this skill and to use it effectively. This is especially important in the spiritual and psychological realm. Spiritual guides and counselors know how to listen with their heart. But all of us can become better listeners by showing empathy and making an effort to get to know the other person. It will make us better family members and better friends.

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