Mary's Ponderings


 





 “Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord;
 let it be with me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

I gasped, amazed when Gabriel appeared,
telling me God had chosen me to birth
the Messiah. I wanted to do God’s will,
but this was perplexing, disturbing.
Was this angel really God’s messenger?
How could I explain it to my family?
What would my beloved Joseph say?
“Do not fear,” the angel said, but it
was hard not to tremble at such news.

And then the long trip to Bethlehem
on a donkey, and giving birth in a stable,
surrounded by scruffy shepherds and
smelly animals. Shivering, Joseph
piled straw around the Babe for warmth,
and covered me with his meager cloak.
Was this befitting the Son of God?

The flight into Egypt to escape Herod’s
threat was harrowing; foreigners
in a hostile land. People looked
at us with suspicion, Joseph again
had to find shelter, provisions and work. 

I loved watching Jesus take his first steps,
speaking his first words, learning Joseph’s
carpentry craft, but when he stayed behind
in the temple, terror filled my heart. He
grew up too quickly and my fears increased
when Jewish leaders slung criticism
and rejection across his path.

It was wrenching to see him carry
the heavy cross, crucified like
a despised criminal. I felt so helpless,
so desperate standing on Golgotha,
remembering Simeon’s prophesy..
Jesus caused me much sorrow, 
but also much joy and I never regretted
saying yes to God’s messenger. 



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