Learning to Listen


I recently read an article about listening and love. It emphasized that you cannot love another person unless you listen to them. It is a listening without judging, without evaluating, without telling the other person what he or she should do. Real listening is giving the other person attention, care, and understanding. It is not having our own agenda, but really listening to their needs.

This takes time and energy. Most of us are so quick to say I know what you mean. I have felt that way myself.  Worse still is telling the other he or she shouldn’t feel that way. Each of us is unique and has protective coverings.  We only open ourselves to people who show honest concern.

Really listening to someone is a rarity in this age of instant messages and immediate answers. We are used to switching from one idea to another without much attention. That makes intent listening all the more difficult. People pay over $100 an hour to have someone like a counselor or therapist listen to them.

Parents need to listen to their children instead of always lecturing them. Spouses need to listen to each other instead of nagging or ignoring them. Listening is the main ingredient of love. The best gift we can give someone is to listen to their needs, their concerns, their hurts.

Perhaps the most ignored part of society is the elderly. Often, they are ignored or undervalued, yet they can have great wisdom to share or deep wounds to heal. The point is that no matter who we are or how old we are, we crave to be loved; and the best way to show love is to take time to listen.

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