Open-handed Living

Our novice director used to tell her novices over and over:  “live with an open hand.” She would say we are called to love, but our love must not cling too tightly to people, possessions, or life itself. We must have a stance of openness, aware that “nothing is ours for keeps, that all is gift and that the love we give and receive here on earth is but a reflection of God’s love.”

That sounds good, but difficult to carry out in the ups and downs of life. When we love someone, we often want it to be forever and total. We have to learn to share our loved ones and not grasp them for ourselves alone.  We also must learn to be openhanded with our possessions, to give of them freely. Even life should not be clung to. If we receive a diagnosis of some fatal illness, we must try to see it as gift, as a wake-up call to get our lives in order.

To live with an open hand takes a lifetime to learn, and we will never do it perfectly. We admire people who can live that way, for they are on the road to sainthood. Most of us struggle along, trying to let go of people and things, but it’s mostly one step forward and two steps back.

We have to keep reminding ourselves that our love needs to reflect God’s love for each of us. It is freely given, no demands, no hidden agendas, no binding chains.  Role models like Mother Teresa or Dorothy Day are rare, but their example is a goal toward which we might strive.