A Revealing Diary

I just finished reading  "The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 1/4 Years Old."  It was a charming, humorous, and honest look at old age and care homes. It takes place in the Netherlands in 2013. Although the culture and situations are different, the feelings and inter-actions of the residents are much the same as in the U.S. The characters live independently in small apart-ments but eat together in a large dining room.

Hendrik and several friends form The Old but Not Dead Club -- Rule #3: No Whining Allowed. The six members take turns planning day outings once a month. The one in charge hires a bus or private vehicle to transport them to museums, restaurants, parks, and even a yoga session. They handle their illnesses with a certain nonchalance, and help each other when there is need.

One of the most touching relationships is between Hendrik and a widow in the club. They enjoy each other's company and he is devastated when she has a stroke and needs to move to the nursing section. She can no longer speak or walk, but Hendrik visits her every day to read and hold her hand.

Hendrik also has a male friend named Evert who imbibes too much. A diabetic, he eventually has to have three toes removed. While he is in the hospital, Hendrik takes care of his dog and visits him. When he comes back home, Hendrik helps him navigate in a wheelchair so he can continue to be part of the group.

Hendrik is frequently critical of the care home regulations and has even visited a lawyer to see if he has enough evidence for a lawsuit. But he is not obsessed with his complaints and continues to find  pleasure in simple things like using his motor scooter to take rides outdoors.

Although most of us don't look forward to old age, this novel provides a refreshing look at how to grow old with a stiff upper lip and continue to enjoy friendships and simple pleasures.