Family Gatherings

Around this time of year there are many occasions for family gatherings. The holidays often bring families together to celebrate with elaborate dinners. When members are in loving relationships this is fine, but what if they aren't?

What if Aunt Betty doesn't get along with cousin Flo? What if Uncle Tom always argues with sister Mona?  What if brother Jim is uncomfortable with sister Kit's second husband?  Unfortunately, families aren't as perfect as they are in Family Circle.

Families need to set some ground rules for conversations. First of all, avoid discussions of politics and religion. These tend to be heated and no-win situations. Second, be positive and affirming of each person. After all, most people are doing the best they can with the limitations and backgrounds they have. Some are dealing with sickness of mind or body and others may be caring for an elderly relative or a special needs child. Third, relate some funny family stories or tell a few jokes to create a lighthearted atmosphere.

Of course, there may be some awkward moments. If someone's feelings are hurt in spite of the best of intentions, don't be afraid to apologize. And compliment people on their delicious pumpkin pie or turkey dressing. Everyone likes to have their efforts appreciated.

Above all, begin the dinner with a prayer. Perhaps each person could say one thing they are grateful for this year. Maybe a promotion at work, or a child doing well in school, or a good prognosis on an illness, or maybe just a phone call from an old friend. Or perhaps tell something you appreciate about each person--provided it doesn't go on too long and the food gets cold!