Building Others Up

 

You must no longer live as the Gentiles do…

put away the old self of your former way of life, …

and put on the new self, created in God's way in righteousness and holiness of truth. (Eph. 4:17, 20-24)

Recently our prioress, Sister Esther Fangman, spoke about critical junctures in our lives – times when we have to decide whether we are going to live our old way of selfishness and uncaring, or adopt a new self of kindness and compassion.  She emphasized the power each of us has to build others up or tear them down with our words and attitudes. We may not be conscious of this power in our day to day encounters, especially when we have our minds on other things. It takes awareness and effort.

For example, we have a lot of guests and employees in our monastery. Sometimes they come with heavy burdens and sorrows that weigh them down. Sometimes they are tired or in a hurry. We can lift them up or ignore them.

We also have sisters in our care center; many are elderly and some are sick. Often they are lonely and may not be in the best of moods. It takes some effort to visit them and share a story or some bit of news with them.  

What if our best efforts meet with rejection or indifference? “No matter how many times another is rude, is not there on time to serve us, or forgets that we need something, we must never contaminate that juncture by reacting with voice,  expression, or actions that lessen another’s being,” Sister Esther reminded us. “It could well be a critical juncture that nudges them toward a lack of self-worth or despair.”

Many of us think we are powerless , that we lack the skills to make a difference in others' lives. We fail to realize the effect of a smile, a kind word, or a simple greeting. We need to remind ourselves often that we have the power to make another's day brighter or darker. We are that powerful.